by: Dana Wiseman for Ynetnews - Last updated: 2005-08-18
I broke down on Wednesday. It happened when one of the mothers asked me who would buy diapers for her baby, starting tomorrow, when shell be homeless and unemployed. Her words shattered me.
One of the girls I evicted, a mere child, told me I was the devil.
She asked how could I evacuate her and cause such damage to her family.
Her words were hurtful; they were tough to hear. Yet, it was important for me to remain close to her and help her.
So I cried on the inside. Fow now, I try to project a strong image. Ill cry after its all over.
I believe evacuated mothers are using their children. It has a powerful effect on us - the evacuators.
Wednesday, for instance, we were getting ready to evacuate a family that earlier on agreed to leave voluntarily. When we arrived at their home it was empty. We let ourselves in and realized the mothers locked themselves in one of the rooms with five little children. Babies.
After we knocked down the door, we found ourselves facing a horrific sight: It was so hot in that room, the babies were screaming, almost chocking. We were worried and called a doctor to examine them. We were all sweating; it was very humid.
Finally, we managed to forcefully evict the mothers and children and we led them to the bus leaving Neve Dekalim. I was very sad.
I was confused too. On one hand I wanted to help them, to explain to them I was not the enemy. On the other, the way they looked at me made me angry too. I am 21-years-old and I feel like a child doing an adults job. I'm evacuating settlers, making history. It is crucial I do it as humanely as possible.
As long as I am here, I will try to be as sensitive as I possibly can, even when I hurt for me and for them.
First Lieutenant Dana Wiseman is a unit commander in Gesher
Reproduced with permission: Ynetnews