Last updated: 2003-11-18
While in Israel I found a great buy on a computer. It is a kosher computer called a DELLSHALOM.
It was selling at such a good price that...well......... mine arrived today. If you or a friend are considering a kosher computer, you should know that there were some important upgrades and changes from the typical computer you are used to, such as:
- The cursor moves from right to left.
- It comes with two hard drives, one for 'Fleyshik' business software and one for 'Milchik' games.
- Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, my PC now gets 'Ferklempt'.
- The Chanukah screen savers include 'Flying Dreidels'.
- The PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.
- After my computer dies, I have to dispose of it within 24 hours.
- The "Start" button has been replaced with a "Let's go! I'm not getting any younger!" button.
- When disconnecting external devices from the back of my PC, I am instructed to "Remove the cable from the PC's tuchus."
- The multimedia player has been renamed to "Nu, so play my music already!"
- Internet Explorer has a spinning "Star of David" in the upper right corner.
- I hear "Hava Nagila" during startup.
- When running "scandisk," it prompts with a "You want I should fix this?" message.
- When my PC is working too hard, I occasionally hear a loud "Oy Gevalt!"
- There is a "monitor cleaning solution" from Manischewitz that advertises that it gets rid of the "schmutz und dreck" on your monitor.
- After 20 minutes of no activity, my PC goes "Schluffen."
- Computer viruses can now be cured with some matzo ball chicken soup.
- The Y2K problem has been replaced by "Year 5760-5761" issues.
- If you decide not to shut down the computer in the prescribed manner, the following message appears "You should be ashamed of yourself!"
- When Spellcheck finds and error it prompts "Is this the best you can do?"